Comments on: Culture Stress: Can’t Win for Losing

By: Guest

Guest — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:13:22 +0000

By: Earl B

Earl B — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 13:01:41 +0000

Really good post Matt. Well worth the read for anyone doing this type of work or traveling in general. The best advice you give is “Laugh at yourself” especially when you find yourself in an awkward situation. It happens to me a lot!
Anyway thanks for taking the time to post such great insight.

Earl

By: Uday Khambadkone

Uday Khambadkone — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:01:52 +0000

Thanks Matt for giving a reality check to anyone interested in doing a long term project in a different culture. India especially is a land of many cultures. So a person of South Indian origin will also get a culture shock when he settles down in North India or vice-versa.

BTW, I love your podcasts.

By: HotDotDD

HotDotDD — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 04:23:22 +0000

Matt, I loved your blog today! A long time ago I told my Mexican neighbors that I was cooking them “polvo” (dirt) for Thanksgiving dinner, instead of “pavo” (turkey). They gave me many worried looks until I put the food on the table, and THEN they told me of my mistake!! I can't even describe how many language errors I've made in Iraq, but maybe one day I'll write a book about them…hahaha

By: Anthony Guynes

Anthony Guynes — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 12:14:10 +0000

Matt, your transparency is inspiring as always. Living in another culture can be exhilarating at times, but then other times you feel like you are literally drowning. I remember days in Delhi walking around just wishing someone would do something so I could get in a shouting match (or worse) with them. Luckily that only happened a couple times. It's interesting that no matter how much you know ahead of time or try to “prepare” for culture stress, it is still something you have to slog through. Also, I know for me it wasn't like I moved through the stages sequentially: one day I felt like an insider, the next day a total loser. We weren't there nearly as long as you guys, but i am guessing it's not like you ever “arrive” but maybe eventually have more “insider” days than “loser” days.

By: garyschapman

garyschapman — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 07:36:15 +0000

Matt…this will become a classic for anyone wanting to truly understand other cultures. Thanks so much for taking the time to hash this out.

gary

By: Andy Wilson

Andy Wilson — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:30:20 +0000

Indeed. A hobby either general (photography comes to mind for some reason ) or local (some friends have enjoyed learning caligraphy, for example) can help a lot. So can just taking exercise and reasonable vacations (preferably 'in-country' for the first couple of years)

A key to satying long-term is local friendships. People you like who like you. Sometimes this may be someone who has lived in another culture, perhaps even yours, who understands a little more what you are going through – even if the culture makes it difficult to become more than a 'resident outsider' it can make all the difference if there are some folk who think of you as “my friend the 'resident outsider' “.

Belongers or longtime 'resident outsiders' can help you to a certain extent as well, though you probably want organise a balance to the time you spend with other expats if you plan to stay for any length of time.

Andy

By: Matt Brandon

Matt Brandon — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 20:52:53 +0000

Andy, well spoken. I think you make some great points here. I think your idea of extenuating factors is a good one. One thing I didn't talk about was developing “coping mechanisms”. They can be things like hobbies, a sport or creating a “sanctuary” of your house or at least a room or two in your house. These coping mechanisms allow you to escape briefly and remain sane.

By: Andy Wilson

Andy Wilson — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 20:35:18 +0000

Good timing Matt! I'm just about to teach this kind of stuff to young Taiwanese hoping to live abroad in the future. I agree that culture stress is a better term than culture shock. I only saw one person get into anything like shock due to a motor accident soon after they arrived. But they survived both the accident and the shock and are still here after 15 years.

I like the Outsider - Resident Outsider - Belonger - Insider categorisation and agree thta it's only a rare few (usually from closely related cultures) who get seen as Insiders. I guess I am a 'strong belonger' here in Taiwan (hey, I'm an ethnic minority in my own [nuclear] family!) and occasionally (very occasionally) colleagues forget my foreign identity or I can be mistaken for overseas Chinese in short telephone conversations with strangers but it has taken 23 years to get to this stage. Getting to proficiency in the language really helps and I would agree some cultures are more accepting of outsiders than others. The Taiwanese are very generous to most foreigners and so it really is relatively easy to live here.

There will of course be other factors that come into play such as climate, availability of facilities in the country in question (fr example, can you find a doctor you feel confident with?), which can influence. And then there are internal factors such as your own personality, your sense of identity/worth and your sense of purpose being there that can be make or break factors. So can having or developing adequate support networks.

Anyway finding the humour in your adventure as 'Alice in Wonderland' may save your head! Anyway enough for now, time to melt away in a Chesire cat grin

Andy

By: Sean

Sean — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 19:46:14 +0000

Hello Matt,

I've been living in Japan for the past 9 years and can relate to all of the stages you mention.
I think there are a lot more though once you live abroad long enough.

Looking back, the Frustration stage can be a real killer. It can make you or break you. The 6 months or so of feeling negative are inevitable I feel, but so long as you remain aware of the negativity stage and ride it out you should be OK.

Once you've been accepted by your adopted society another frustration faced is finding a way to contribute back. I find once you find the key to this you will be accepted a lot more.

And like you say, learning the language is key. Do that and a complete new world of opportunities (and surprises) become available to you.